Am I Really that Selfish?

                I really liked David Foster Wallace's speech to the Kenyon College, because he wasn't trying to be this superior intellectual person. He was really down to earth and authentic during his entire speech. He touched on the forbidden things that most people avoid talking about, such as people's default to focus on their selfish desires. Instead of looking through other people's lenses and becoming more aware of things around us, we busy ourselves with steady activities to please ourselves.

                I felt that Wallace's point about the sole influence of our choices comes from our default to be self-centered is a very true statement. Everything we do stems from our ache to please our desires. Even the "ethical" actions that we take such as service, stem from our desire to make us feel better about ourselves. We don't want to be labeled as the self-centered person, but ironically our motivation to help others derives from our self-centered longing to be viewed as a good person. Each choice that we make throughout our lives, is to ultimately please our emotions because it's the one natural and comfortable place that we can reside in.

                I usually engage in this choice through worrying about all of the necessary things that I have to do in order for my life to go the way I want it to. This could mean trying to rush through "annoying and unnecessary" homework in order to get college applications done. Or being a little rude to the people around me because I'm dealing with "a lot of stress", as a result I fail to think that the people around me may be going through tougher things. I' am so wrapped up in my own default of self-centeredness that I forget to become aware and more in tune with the things surrounding me. Wallace stated that, "Learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think." I have control over what I choose to think about and how I go about it. I don't always have to consume myself with my selfish desires, instead I can be fully present and aware in other people's lives, as opposed to defaulting to my unconscious state of being in my own world.

                I think people clap when DFW is insulting them because the irony of his candid statement truly layouts the things that are always left unsaid. He breaks it down to them in a genuine way, without trying to appease them with what they want to hear. Although selfishness is frowned upon in our society, we live in a very selfish and greedy society. These two values stem from the fact that we are a self-centered group of people, and DFW makes it known, thus receiving an applause —simply because someone finally confronted the taboo truths that people try to avoid so often. This is indicative of the fact that people want to hear the truth about themselves, instead of sugar coated answers that fail to address problems at hand.

                I've realized that there are other ways to think as opposed to always defaulting to myself centeredness. Like Wallace said it's in my power to experience the things around me more eagerly. Instead of defaulting to the things that I worship, I can become more aware, understanding, and attentive, thus allowing me to think deeper.