Freedom

                I remember feeling free when I was on the swing set at the playground three months ago. The minute I started to lift my feel off the ground and gain momentum, I became nostalgic and sad. It reminded me of the days when I was little and I had no worries. The time when feeling free wasn't such a rare feeling. When I was younger, life wasn't complicated yet. It was a big playground for me to explore and enjoy, instead of a place that would make me unhappy and unsatisfied. As I was swinging, I was reminded of the happiness I felt as a little kid when I would swing up high, while the cool air brushed my skin. Being on the swing brought back memories of youth, ignorance, happiness, and freedom. The saying, "Ignorance is bliss," is a statement that defines the benefits of being a little kid. I was ignorant to reality, thus making things seem content. It's when I matured and realized that reality brings hardships, and that my carefree and freeing feeling was not always going to be present.

                The experience of being on the swing revived the long lost feeling of freedom in my life. I was brought back to the time of youth, and I felt liberated. In those three minutes on the swing, I was able to let go and enjoy my experience as I went up and down in the air. I didn't have to be in so much control, instead I could savor the moment of relaxation and simplicity. Such a simple act made me happy, and I was reminded of how simple things could make my younger self extremely satisfied. It was if I was back to those times when I didn't need much to please me. I was simply pleased with the relaxing speed of the swing and the breeze against my skin.  

                I think the experience is when you're able to enjoy life without all of the other worries on your mind. It's a special moment when everything seems ok, and you're able to appreciate the gift of life. Freedom is when we free ourselves from being in control and concentrate on the pleasing feeling of freedom. Freedom is relaxing and delightful, because it's that one moment where you can experience happiness. It may not last very long but it is a time where all the worries of the world are temporally erased from your brain and life isn't a place of uncompleted desires.   

Influence of Wonder

                At six years old, I would have gone into this assignment with unyielding enthusiasm because I have the opportunity to discover little objects that can quickly capture my attention.  This white out stick that produces white out on tape would have been a cool thing in the eyes of my 6 year old self. I can actually verify this statement because I have a little 8 year old cousin who was completely intrigued by this white out tape. She was so fascinated that she ended up breaking my white out, and I was so irritated.  I did not understand why she was interested in this stupid object, but I had to calm myself down, and remember that she is a little kid who was only acting on impulse due to the fascinating "toy" she just discovered. Like my little cousin, I would have seized at the opportunity to analyze objects because I was allowed to direct all of my energy and attention in an object that was too cool to overlook. As a little kid, my value of things is a lot different from what I value today. I was young and inexperienced, simply trying to suck in information in as many ways as possible.

                As we get older we are less capable of imagination and wonder because as a little kid we seek to learn as much as we can. We are new creatures on this earth who are trying to get a sense of our new environment. We have to familiarize ourselves with everything because it is our way of learning. Furthermore, as a child we are less mature and do not know how to value the level of importance from one thing to the other. Therefore, every little thing that catches our eye, will reel us in with ease. Whereas being an adult, we do not seek to learn about every little thing that we encounter because many of these things have no importance or affect on us. We've been on the earth longer, therefore we have been exposed to a wider range of things, thus wiping away the imagination and wonder we have for things. As time goes by, things that used to be fun become jaded and monotonous, thus causing the passion to be lost.

                I think the quote means that concepts create these ideologies that can sometimes be misconstrued, and in order for the concepts to maintain their simple message, the simple acts of wonder can get to the core of the meaning. I'm not sure if this true in my experience cause wonder can still misinterpret. 

Am I Really that Selfish?

                I really liked David Foster Wallace's speech to the Kenyon College, because he wasn't trying to be this superior intellectual person. He was really down to earth and authentic during his entire speech. He touched on the forbidden things that most people avoid talking about, such as people's default to focus on their selfish desires. Instead of looking through other people's lenses and becoming more aware of things around us, we busy ourselves with steady activities to please ourselves.

                I felt that Wallace's point about the sole influence of our choices comes from our default to be self-centered is a very true statement. Everything we do stems from our ache to please our desires. Even the "ethical" actions that we take such as service, stem from our desire to make us feel better about ourselves. We don't want to be labeled as the self-centered person, but ironically our motivation to help others derives from our self-centered longing to be viewed as a good person. Each choice that we make throughout our lives, is to ultimately please our emotions because it's the one natural and comfortable place that we can reside in.

                I usually engage in this choice through worrying about all of the necessary things that I have to do in order for my life to go the way I want it to. This could mean trying to rush through "annoying and unnecessary" homework in order to get college applications done. Or being a little rude to the people around me because I'm dealing with "a lot of stress", as a result I fail to think that the people around me may be going through tougher things. I' am so wrapped up in my own default of self-centeredness that I forget to become aware and more in tune with the things surrounding me. Wallace stated that, "Learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think." I have control over what I choose to think about and how I go about it. I don't always have to consume myself with my selfish desires, instead I can be fully present and aware in other people's lives, as opposed to defaulting to my unconscious state of being in my own world.

                I think people clap when DFW is insulting them because the irony of his candid statement truly layouts the things that are always left unsaid. He breaks it down to them in a genuine way, without trying to appease them with what they want to hear. Although selfishness is frowned upon in our society, we live in a very selfish and greedy society. These two values stem from the fact that we are a self-centered group of people, and DFW makes it known, thus receiving an applause —simply because someone finally confronted the taboo truths that people try to avoid so often. This is indicative of the fact that people want to hear the truth about themselves, instead of sugar coated answers that fail to address problems at hand.

                I've realized that there are other ways to think as opposed to always defaulting to myself centeredness. Like Wallace said it's in my power to experience the things around me more eagerly. Instead of defaulting to the things that I worship, I can become more aware, understanding, and attentive, thus allowing me to think deeper.

Caligula Questions

1. Camu demonstrates Caligula's heart through his need to have things that are intolerable. He states, "Really, this world of ours, the scheme of things as they call it, is quite intolerable. That's why I want the moon, or happiness, or eternal life —something, in fact, that may sound crazy, but which isn't of this world" (Camu 8). He wants to satisfy his desires, and sometimes desires cause people to feel foreign emotions that would not usually encompass their being. However, it implies that his desires are the genuine feelings that he craves, and it is not easy to suppress them regardless if they are normal or abnormal. This can sometimes become a problem because unwanted desires, still consume people no matter what they try to do. It is a matter of approaching and dealing with the desires to control the result of the active desires.

2. The people in power do not understand Caligula. Caligula says, "They're without understanding and they need a teacher; someone who knows what he's talking about" (Camu 9). They fail to place themselves in Caligula's shoes, so as a result they are always so quick to judge and disagree with how he is. For instance, his grief over his dead sister was a silly act to them. They did not understand why he was so distraught over the love a close family member. The First Patrician says, "But it's really going too far, setting all Rome in a turmoil because the girl has died"(Camu 5). It is evident that they lack the capacity to show compassion to someone when a close relative passes. Their selfish desires override their peer's feelings, thus making their views and desires number one. It is simply rude to ignore the act of understanding without putting oneself in the other's position. I do not agree with this view because the ability to understand will help people comprehend someone's reactions to things. However, the people in power will never see Caligulus' point of view because they are so involved in their own selfish thoughts. I also think that it is simply rude to ignore the act of understanding without putting oneself in the other's position. 

The Iron Board

The iron board in my house is a wide board made of metal that has a soft cushion over top of it. Underneath that soft cushion is a hard metal surface to iron clothes. The soft cushion is a pretty baby blue pattern that serves as soft surface to put clothes on. The board also has long metal sticks coming out of the bottom of the board.The board allows an iron to be placed on it, so clothes can be ironed. The board also folds up, where it will then fold into a flat surface. This alternative can make carrying the board easier when it has to be lifted.

What Does My Happiness Consist of?

My happiness consists of being able to wake up in the morning with my health intact. Without my health, my spirit would be clouded because I can't be myself. Being myself and expressing how I feel is very important. If I cannot let the true Simone out, then I' am not truly happy because I am holding back who I' am, which is not a genuine reflection of me.

My happiness also consists of being able to be around my friends and family every day. The people whom I surround myself with impact my life. Without their energy and support, I would be a lonely and depressed soul. People are so different and fun, which is why I appreciate those who make me happy.

My happiness also consists of growing and becoming a more mature and intelligent human being. Knowing that I am positively evolving makes me happy because I know that I am utilizing my life correctly.

Eating and sleeping make me extremely happy. Food is a great way to forget about all of the inadequacies in life. The wide arrange of flavors, textures, and effects of food make me love the sensation of taste. Sleeping is also my time to relax and forget about reality. Reality is harsh, but sleep is the outlet where all of the crudeness is irrelevant. I step into my own zone of tranquility and I can dream about endless possibilities.

Dancing and singing make me happy. When I dance, I can express the many emotions that are sometimes locked up inside of me. I can reveal my alter egos and become a completely new person. I love theatrics, so acting out different characters enables me to forget my worries and take on the persona of someone else. Contrary to many of my friend's beliefs, I believe I can sing. The act of singing is so liberating and peaceful. When I sing, I can let my emotions loose and evoke them through my voice. I can have fun and dance around. Music is something that brings people together, and coming together to enjoy a common thing makes me feel good about life.

Being successful and appearing on TV will certainly make me happy one day. I want to have a sense of accomplishment, and fulfilling this dream of mine will achieve that effect. I want to have a career one day that will bring in money. Without an income, my life will not be easy because it would be hard to get by. With the aid of a job and money, I can love and appreciate the benefits of life.

Lastly, acts of kindness make me happy whether I receive it or I perform the act myself. When I help someone out I feel good about the work I did and the feeling of joy that person experiences. Upholding a kind lifestyle not only helps others, but it also makes me feel better about life because I have a more positive take on it.

Who am I?

Hi, I'm Simone! I appreciate life to the fullest, despite its many drawbacks and imperfections. I love who I' am and the life I was given. I value a lot of things, but the most valuable thing in my life is my family. They are my support system that rewards me with love, kindness, and happiness. Without my family I would not be who I' am or where I' am today.

I was raised in the Catholic tradition. I went to Catholic school all my life so I've been exposed to all of the expectations and devotions that a Catholic is supposed to exemplify. I believe in Christian values that most Christians uphold as well. Although I' am a Christian and a Catholic, I do not like to judge others who believe in different religions or value different beliefs than I do. We all have the freedom to think creatively, so I think that it is not my place to judge and scrutinize someone based on how they choose to live their life.

I believe that having a relationship with God is vital to my sanity. I know that I have friends and family here on earth to confide in, but it's hard not to wonder whether or not they're judging me, and it can make me feel uncomfortable sometimes. But I know that with God, he's omniscient so I can't hide anything from him. Furthermore, I know that he doesn't judge me. He's my confidante and the one thing that represents security and stability in my life. People and things will come and go in my life, but God will always be here, and because of that, my love and respect for him is unwavering. Therefore, I have to obey his will for me and  allow him to provide his grace upon my life.

Both of my parents were born in Jamaica so I' am a Jamaican-American. I take great pride in my cultural background because it represents a large part of me. Without my Jamaican ancestors I would not be here today. Among my friends, I' am the only one who has foreign parents. I've really come to embrace this attribute because it has allowed me to become more exposed to cultural things that an average American teenager does not see. Because my parents are foreign I am always very defensive when people insult other people's country. Because if you are not apart of a culture, you have no place to discern what's right and wrong in an environment that you are completely ignorant of. I've learned the act of respecting different cultures and I've also learned the value of respect itself. Because my parents are from a foreign country, they were raised differently. They respected their peers at a level that is not really seen in my generation today. So as a result, that same level of courtesy is expected of me.

I hope to one day be on TV. I want to major in broadcast journalism because I love oral communication and talking. I feel that as a journalist it is my job to get the word out to the public whether it be political news, pop culture, gossip, etc. Being on TV has also been a dream of mind, which is another reason why  I want to major in broadcasting. But most of all, I feel as though I will be fulfilling my purpose, which is the most rewarding. But my most important fulfillment in life is to make others happy. I want to make a difference through service work. When I make someone happy, that is so much more worth it than putting myself first. Because in the end, happiness will be received on my part. I want to be happy and comfortable with who I' am in my life. I know these feelings will go in and out throughout my life, but I want to be able to enjoy and reap the benefits of living.